Jan 8, 2010

Pyaar Impossible

In 2000, Yash Raj Films released a movie named Mohabattein where they introduced six newcomers – Uday Chopra, Jugal Hansraj, Jimmy Shergill, Shamita Shetty, Kim Sharma and Preeti Jhangiani. None of them gets any role nowadays in Hindi films. So the only choice they have is to make film themselves and work with each other. Guess from that desperation, Pyaar Impossible was formed!

After watching the movie, I felt Pyaar Impossible is a love story between a retard, Simple Jack [in reference to Tropic Thunder] and a woman trying desperately to be a MILF.

The movie tells the story of Abhay Sharma (Uday Chopra), a geek who is hopelessly in love (or is it lust?) with Alisha Merchant (Priyanka Chopra), the campus hottie. Like in every other film, Alisha doesn’t even notice Abhay no matter how hard he tries to make himself visible. Due to circumstances Alisha leaves the university. Seven years later they cross paths again in Singapore. By then, Abhay, still a geek, has created a unique OS which supports all platform and Alisha, now a divorced, single mother (with a 6 year old daughter) works as a PR and Marketing Head. Meanwhile Varun (Dino Morea) steals the codes of Abhay’s OS and sells them to Alisha’s company. The film is how Abhay tries to get back his OS codes and woos Alisha back, who by then has fallen for Varun.

By now you must have realized there is nothing new to the story. And you are correct! There is indeed nothing in the story. What is even worse is the detailing. Let me explain.

Abhay has created a new OS. He needs to show the specialty or uniqueness of the OS to Varun, a prospective buyer. It is cringe worthy how Abhay does that. He opens his Mac (by the way you know a person is geek since he is using only Mac) and presses a button. We see the desktop where all the different OS are hovering around like planets in the universe. Abhay says it is compatible with every OS. That’s it. Varun is freaking excited to buy it. He says, ‘I am impressed.’ By the way, that is the only dialogue Varun has in the movie. He keeps on repeating it. I mean you’re a prospective buyer and you don’t even want to check the OS functionality? WTF!!! That desktop can be a Power-Point slide. It can be a Flash file. But how dare we say that? Abhay uses Mac and is a geek. He knows it all.

After that Varun steals the program files when Abhay is busy on the phone. How? Pen drive in. Right click on Program Files. Copy. Paste. Done. Never knew Mac worked like that! What is even better is how Abhay finds out that Varun has stolen his codes. He opens his laptop and clicks on Program Files and it says, ‘Last copied on so and so date/time.’ That’s it. Wow!

In Singapore, Abhay due to certain misunderstanding, works as a nanny to Alisha’s six year old daughter, who is a little demon. This is where the film turns offensive. Any parent would (and should) be ashamed to see the way Alisha is shown as a mother. But the worst part is the way a six year old child’s character has been sexed up.

The six year old girl playing cupid between Abhay and Alisha, tells Abhay he must utilize the opportunity of staying alone with her mother when she will be sleeping at her friend’s house.

The next morning she asks Abhay, ‘What happened last night? I need the gossip.’

Imagine! That’s not all.

The same six year old girl while talking to Abhay about her mother Alisha says, ‘She only dates those types of guys (Hunks/Jocks).’

That is Pyaar Impossible for you!

Now let’s talk about Abhay and Alisha. The movie tries to show that there is much more to love than surface level attraction. That is where the irony lies. Alisha love for Abhay at the end justifies that. But what about Abhay’s love (LUST) for Alisha? There is just NOTHING positive about Alisha’s character/personality other than her physicality. And the film highlights exactly that. Why then is Abhay so obsessed about her?

In a scene, Alisha says, ‘Do you really believe ke log ek dusre ko sirf khoobsurti ke wajah se chahte hai? Because that’s really shallow.’

That is exactly what Pyaar Impossible shows.

While talking about Alisha, I recall, she works as PR and Marketing Head. In which company does a PR Head dress like that? I think PR and Marketing here stands for Personal Marketing. The way Alisha dresses in the film is like a desperate woman trying hard to bed guys left, right and center.

Also she repeatedly mentions that she doesn’t understand anything about computers. Yet she is present when Varun shows the bench-mark scores of the OS. The worst part however is when she of all people goes inside the Server Room of the company to test run the OS. In my few years as an Admin, I have NEVER seen a single PR, HR, Marketing, Sales person coming into the Server Room. They are just not permitted!

Uday Chopra doesn’t look like a geek. Instead he is reminiscent of Simple Jack. His actions are exactly like that of a retard (hence the reference). Priyanka Chopra hams big time. And what is with the fake accent? All she needed to do is wear super short skirts and show her legs. Dino Morea is the best of the lot. He starts with one expression, maintains that throughout the film, and ends with that. Superb!

Watching this movie makes me question the intelligence level of the makers. One thing is very clear. Uday Chopra is completely talent-less, as is Jugal Hansraj. The sooner they understand that, the better it is for the industry and us, the poor audience.